Found Poetry From Last Week’s Republican and Democratic Debates
The two recent debates–the Republican debate on Thursday, January 14, and the Democratic debate from Sunday, January 17, were chock-full of strange exchanges and bizarre declarations. They were also strangely poetic; and the perfect reason to create some found poetry based on the standout performances from the debates.
For the uninitiated, Found Poetry occurs when a poet “select a source text […] then excerpt words and phrases from the text to create a new piece.” Politics and found poetry have been bedfellows before, such as when Donald Rumsfeld waxed philosophical about the essence of war in a series of found poems written by Slate’s Hart Seely. For the following found poems, all of the contents come directly from the listed speaker, and were spoken in that order. The titles, however, are of my own creation.
I Have Never Heard of the Geneva Convention
by Dr. Ben Carson
“We’re not going to bomb a tanker
because there might be a person in it”
Give me a break.
Just tell them that,
you put people in there,
we’re going to bomb them.
So don’t put people in there
if you don’t want them bombed.
You know, that’s so simple.
I Once Saw A Jewish Man on Television
by Ted Cruz
There are many, many
working men and women
in the state of New York
The values in New York City
are socially liberal or
focused around money and the media.
Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
by John Ellis Bush!
Donald, Donald — can I —
I hope you reconsider this.
So I hope you’ll reconsider.
I hope you’ll reconsider.
The better way of dealing with this
the better way of dealing with this
is recognizing that there are people in,
you know, the — Islamic terrorists inside,
embedded in refugee populations.
I Know They Talk About Me In The Back Of P. F. Chang’s
by Donald Trump
they send their goods
and we don’t tax it —
they do whatever they want to do.
They do whatever what they do, OK.
When we do business with China,
they tax us.
You don’t know it,
they tax us.
I love China.
I love the Chinese people
but they laugh themselves,
they can’t believe how stupid
the American leadership is.
I Respect That You’re Taking My Lunch Money
By H. Rodham Clinton
Well, my relationship with him,
it’s — it’s interesting.
It’s one, I think, of respect.
We’ve had some very tough dealings
with one another.
He’s someone that you have to
continuingly stand up to because,
like many bullies,
he is somebody who will take as much as he possibly can
unless you do.
I Don’t Know How To Use My Daughter’s iPhone
whether it’s a back door
or a front door
that the American principle of law
should still hold
that our federal government
should have to get a warrant,
whether they want to come
through the back door
or your front door.
Wall Street Has More Puppeteers Than Sesame Street
by Bernard Sanders
I do believe
we have to deal
with the fundamental issues
of a handful of billionaires
who control economic
and political life
of this country.
Nothing real will get happened
Unless we have a political revolution
Where millions of people finally stand up.