"Jeb Bush" by [Gage Skidmore via Flickr]
Elections
The Jebbiest Jeb! Moments of the 2016 Race
If you had any doubt that politics are more like "Veep" than "The West Wing," Jeb! Bush resoundingly proves that awkward tragicomedy is the reigning genre of Washington. Constantly avoiding comparisons to his older brother, taking his mother along for campaign appearances, and struggling with a "glasses-on or glasses-off" wardrobe choice, Jeb!'s presidential campaign feels more like a kid desperately trying to run for class president after his brother ran a few years ago promising free pizza for lunch and ended up invading the neighboring middle school. You might find Jeb! listed in the thesaurus as an antonym for suave—and his total inability to hide how poorly he is doing gives him a touch of humanity that is never afforded to a frontrunner. Here, we've collected the most "Jebby" moments of the 2016 campaign, for your cringe-inducing pleasure.
And our pièce de résistance, the moment that Jeb! set aside political divisions and finally offered an across-the-aisle solution this is sure to make everyone happy: his offer to give a “warm kiss” to any Democrat who cuts spending. Firstly, for whom is “warm kiss” a common combination of words? Kisses by nature involve sharing body heat, so most—if not all—kisses are warm. Specifying the temperature seems to indicate that this kiss would be warmer than most, which calls into question the friction and passion involved with the kiss. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I regret thinking about it. Let’s just hope he reserves those warm kisses for Columba.
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