This Thanksgiving Be Grateful That These People Aren’t Your Neighbors

Thanksgiving is the time of year when you sit back and think about all the things for which you are thankful. I made up my list. Of course my family, friends, shelter, yada yada yada, is all there. But let me move away from that boring stuff and tell you what I am really thankful for this year: that I don’t have neighbors with an annoying propensity to make noise all night.

Dog-Tired

Don’t we all hate when our neighbors cannot control their pets? Of course, it is a lot worse when they could control their pets but choose not to do so. However, worst of all is when they do not even have a dog, but still insist on blasting dog barking sounds over speakers pointed straight at our houses. Right?

So have you always wondered what it is like to be one of the rich and famous? Apparently it is a world full of annoying fake dog noises. At least it is in the case of former “Baywatch” star David Charvet and his wife Brooke Burke-Charvet, a former host of “Dancing with the Stars.”

The Charvets are in an interesting situation. Their neighbor, “The Bachelor” creator and Texas Chainsaw Masaacre producer Mike Fleiss, has decided to harass them in an unusual way. He set up speakers, pointed them toward their house, and played a new CD–“The Sounds of Dogs Barking” (at least I assume that is where he got his dog noises. It’s where I get all of mine.)–at all hours of the night. The Charvets are one of those unique couples who like to sleep at night, so they actually did not appreciate all this racket. And neither did the cops. They charged Fleiss with disturbing the peace.

This could possibly be good news for his neighbors who have tried and failed to get a restraining order against Fleiss in the past because what better way to prove you need one than to show the criminal record he got from the things he did to you?

One last note about this: where did Fleiss come up with this idea? Maybe it just popped into his very creative head; however, an alternate theory is that it came upon him in a dream … that was interrupted by the real barking dogs over at the Charvets’ house.

It’s Like (Not) Watching the Grass Grow

When I am asleep in the wee hours of the morning–meaning, of course, any time before noon–I do not want to be disturbed by my neighbors mowing the lawn. Wait until normal hours to do that, please–like 4:30 in the morning because I am still out partying at that hour.

Philip Ray Gage wanted to give his neighbors a nice surprise, but he chose an odd hour to do it. This is what I imagine led up to the crazy event: Gage was lying in bed and could not sleep. There was something weighing on his mind. The grass was growing right outside his window and there was nothing he could do about it. Wait! There was one thing he could do! Go out and mow the lawn. So he did. But he was not a selfish man. He did not want to be the only one to benefit from his stroke of genius. So when he was done with his own yard, he moved on to the neighbor’s.

Courtesy of Giphy.

One of his other neighbors was clearly jealous that he did not get special treatment, though, because when Gage was almost done with the lawns, the cops showed up and told him it was illegal to mow lawns at 4:30 in the morning. Then, they wrote him a ticket for the same thing that caused Fleiss to get one–disturbing the peace.

So, yeah, that is definitely what I am thankful for this year; kind neighbors who don’t disturb my peace. I need my sleep, after all.

Ashley Shaw

Ashley Shaw is an Alabama native and current New Jersey resident. A graduate of both Kennesaw State University and Thomas Goode Jones School of Law, she spends her free time reading, writing, boxing, horseback riding, playing trivia, flying helicopters, playing sports, and a whole lot else. So maybe she has too much spare time. Contact Ashley at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.