Hot Sauce Lands Hillary In Hot Water

Hillary Clinton is white. I mean, I’m white, but Hillary is super white, like banana-and-mayo sandwich made by Dale Earnhardt Jr. level white. But much like her husband, Hillary is widely supported by black voters, who voted for her over Bernie Sanders in New York by over 50 points. Even in the face of this support, Hillary has been accused of pandering to minority voters, such as when her team posted a listicle explaining how Secretary Clinton is just like your abuela, or when she dabbed, whipped, and nae-naed on The Ellen Show. During a recent interview on The Breakfast Club, Clinton was told that when she acts this way, it reeks of her trying too hard. In her defense, she said it was not her idea. “It looks like I’m trying too hard because I am trying too hard! I can’t do it!” She admitted to dancing in private, but said that she had learned to avoid it in public.

Then, Hillary raved about Beyoncé, which in all fairness is a popular activity among all people. She has even said before that she “want[s] to be as good a president as Beyoncé is a performer:” a tall order considering that I’m still recovering from a Beyoncé concert that took place two years ago. But it was her last answer on the show that is raising some eyebrows (and catching some shade.) Clinton was asked what item she always carries in her bag. Without missing a beat, Clinton responded “hot sauce.” Funnily enough, that’s probably the same answer that Beyoncé gave to the question: “What’s 2016’s version of ‘surfboardt’ going to be?”

“Are you getting in formation?” Charlamagne Tha God asked, referencing the lyric in Beyoncé’s surprise southern-black-woman-pride anthem “Formation.” Clinton laughed, and responded, “I’ve been eating a lot of hot sauce — raw peppers, and hot sauces … because I think it keeps my immune system strong. I think hot sauce is good for you, in moderation of course, don’t go overboard.”

That’s right, much like an insane person, Hillary Clinton eats raw peppers–jalapeños, according to her staffers. Side note: is that the reason Papa John’s always adds those spicy green ones alongside my pizza? I always assumed those were delivered for late-night pizza party dare purposes. But it may be true that spicy food boosts your health: the LiveStrong website provides some pretty dope facts about the health benefits of spicy peppers.

Because he’s the walking, talking shouting version of a YouTube comments section, Donald Trump decided to lead the charge against Hillary’s phony claims of hot-sauce-having, saying:

It’s the same thing that she always does. She carries hot sauce like I carry hot sauce. It’s just, I don’t know, it’s just so phony and so pandering and so terrible.

The trouble is, Hillary was waxing rhapsodic about hot sauce for years before Beyoncé was. In a 1995 lunch interview with The Washington Post, she called hot sauce her “secret passion.” So maybe Secretary Clinton isn’t trying to become Hillaré, but Bey has simply paved the way for her to be open about her love of hot sauce. Chalk it up to yet another example of Beyoncé being a source of inspiration for Americans everywhere.

Sean Simon

Sean Simon is an Editorial News Senior Fellow at Law Street, and a senior at The George Washington University, studying Communications and Psychology. In his spare time, he loves exploring D.C. restaurants, solving crossword puzzles, and watching sad foreign films. Contact Sean at SSimon@LawStreetMedia.com.