Toya Graham wasn’t looking to become famous when she grabbed her mask-wearing teenage son and slapped him in the middle of the Baltimore riots this Monday. Her main concern was ensuring that her only son would have no part in the violence sweeping through her community. Her actions, which were caught on tape by a news crew, have people all across the nation calling her “mother of the year.” But I find her public endorsement strange, since Americans haven’t been so approving of physically disciplining children in recent years. What many people applauding her actions are failing to point out is had Graham hit her son in a different context, onlookers wouldn’t be calling her a hero, they’d be calling Child Protective Services.

Warning: the video below contains explicit content.

This kind of hypocrisy immediately makes me think of the way Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was vilified by the media last year for whipping his four-year-old son using a tree branch commonly known as a “switch,” which left welts and cuts on the boy’s body. After the child abuse allegations broke, Peterson found himself in a back-and-forth with the league executives, who seemingly couldn’t make up their minds on how they would punish him. The former NFL MVP eventually accepted a plea deal with the courts and was suspended for the rest of the season without pay. However, in a statement to police, Peterson maintained that he felt confident in his actions, and is thankful for what spanking had done for him in his life.

Now just to be clear, I’m not advocating the physical abuse of anyone, and Peterson’s form of discipline clearly went too far. But if Americans can support the “Baltimore mom” publicly beating her child, why have they tended to be so disapproving of a swift swat on a child’s behind to put them in check when necessary?

Spanking, or striking a child on the buttocks, is a form of corporal punishment, which is the umbrella term for any form of physical punishment that involves the deliberate infliction of pain in order to punish someone. The majority of Americans in previous decades supported the method as an acceptable disciplinary tool, but modern Americans’ opinions on spanking are different depending on party, race, region, and religion. Fivethirtyeight reports that spanking has become less and less popular over the past three decades, with the majority of its supporters consisting of Republicans, African-Americans, Christians, and Southerners.

This winter, NBC decided to broach the controversial topic of corporal punishment with a star-studded American remake of an Australian miniseries titled “The Slap,” which revolves around a group of people dealing with the repercussions of an adult male slapping someone else’s misbehaving child at a birthday party. Each episode is centered on a different character’s perspective, showing just how complex and different opinions on the matter can be.

But if trends show that people are less and less approving of parents putting their hands on their children, why is the Baltimore mother who publicly slapped and cursed at her son suddenly a hero? The answer–media hypocrisy.  Salon‘s Joan Walsh had an interesting take on the topic, writing:

The debate over the moment Graham says she ‘lost it’ is complex. There’s a parallel black debate going on that, as always when it comes to racial issues, is richer and more nuanced. But anyone white who’s applauding Graham’s moment of desperation, along with the white media figures who are hyping her ‘heroism,’ is essentially justifying police brutality, and saying the only way to control black kids is to beat the shit out of them.

I’m aware that a lot of African Americans are lauding Graham, too. This piece isn’t directed at them. Whether they applaud or critique Graham’s corporal punishment, most black people debating the issue acknowledge that the desperate public beating came from centuries of black parents knowing they have to discipline their children harshly, or else white society will do it for them – and they may not survive it.

I am all for how this mother chose to deal with her son’s participation in the riots in Baltimore; if that had been me I would have gotten much worse from my mother. My problem is with how fickle our society can be about the topic of corporal punishment depending on how it is portrayed in the media. A parent should be allowed to discipline their child in the way they see fit, within reason, but it shouldn’t take a black woman beating her black son during a city’s upheaval for the rest of America to suddenly get on board.

Alexis Evans

Alexis Evans is an Assistant Editor at Law Street and a Buckeye State native. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and a minor in Business from Ohio University. Contact Alexis at aevans@LawStreetMedia.com.

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Hey y’all!

I was trying really hard to keep my opinion to myself when it came to the Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Jonathan Dwyer domestic violence cases, but I just can’t anymore.

Last night I watched as many different male commentators shared their opinions on ESPN about all things domestic violence and what the NFL should do, and then I read an article this morning that has irritated me beyond belief. Female Soccer star Hope Solo was arrested and charged with domestic violence back in June but there is little coverage of the story. The only news I found about her recently is that she set a new “record while awaiting domestic violence trial.” So Hope gets to live her life, play the sport that she loves, and silently await trial for not only causing injury to a child but also to her sister. Now reports say that she was drunk at the time, which is no excuse! No matter if you are sober, drunk, or have some crazy sleep disorder that causes you to hit someone you should not be left on a pedestal while others are ostracized for causing bodily harm to others as well.

I do not support domestic violence and I certainly have a problem with any woman who states “I don’t believe in domestic violence, but I will say: any woman who can hit a man, a man shouldn’t have to sit there and take the abuse. The abuse goes both ways.” This Ray Rice fan, only identified as Kathy, is out of her mind! No one needs to be laying a hand on anyone in a violent manner. Ever. Both men and women should be able to exercise restraint, you are adults!

Do I believe in corporal punishment? Absolutely. But there is a difference between corporal punishment and domestic violence. Domestic violence is defined as “violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner.” Corporal punishment is defined as “punishment administered by an adult (as a parent or a teacher) to the body of a child ranging in severity from a slap to a spanking.”

So while Ray Rice is now an ex-NFL player, Adrian Peterson is on the NFL’s “exempt” list (what is that, like Santa’s naughty and nice list?), and who knows what will happen to Jonathan Dwyer, little miss Hope Solo was able to apologize to the public and go back to work. How is this fair? After all these years of women wanting to be treated as equals we go and do this. We allow a woman to hit not one but two people, apologize, and then go back to work and be praised for a 72nd shutout game with her national team?

Men can’t hit women or children, but apparently women can hit men, women, and children while still being able to go about their lives without being judged by the public and no actions are taken from the league she works for? Yes, her charges seem to be misdemeanors but an arrest and a trial, that is enough for me to feel the need to ostracize her and state that she should have been yanked from the league until her trial was over and resolved.

We do things differently in the south. We were all raised on the idea of getting a spanking. In fact, there may have been a time or two where my Mississippi grandmother would order me outside to the weeping willow tree to grab a switch because I had done something wrong. In all honesty I don’t remember if I ever got a whipping but the threat of it and making me pick out my switch was enough to make me not act up again. I also had a father who was a true military man through and through. I would have to say, in my eyes, my dad was a mix of John Wayne and General Patton. All he ever had to do was give a look and I knew not to do what I was about to do. That is the kind of fear we need to instill in our children today. We shouldn’t coddle them, but we also shouldn’t have to actually harm them, that fear is enough. (For me at least, until I got into my teenage years, but that’s a different story.) I love my dad but even to this day he could scare me to death with that look.

Hope needs a reality check. You don’t get to hit people — even if you’re drunk — and still have a career that influences young women all over the world. Many claim that Rice, Peterson, and Dwyer were role models to children. So is Hope. Maybe, as a parent, you should want your child’s role model to be someone in the community and not a celebrity.

Can we also remember that domestic violence is NOT just violence against women! Women beat their husbands and children, too. We can’t spend weeks talking about the male athletes charged with domestic violence like Rice, Peterson, and Dwyer without acknowledging Solo. It’s sexist and full of exclusion.

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Allison Dawson (@AllyD528) Born in Germany, raised in Mississippi and Texas. Graduate of Texas Tech University and Arizona State University. Currently dedicating her life to studying for the LSAT. Twitter junkie. Conservative.

Featured image courtesy of [love @ll via Flickr]

Allison Dawson

Allison Dawson was born in Germany and raised in Mississippi and Texas. A graduate of Texas Tech University and Arizona State University, she’s currently dedicating her life to studying for the LSAT. Twitter junkie. Conservative. Get in touch with Allison at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.

The post Men Aren’t the Only Superstar Athletes Charged with Domestic Violence appeared first on Law Street.