Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce

Special orders don’t upset us.

All we ask is that you let you let us

Serve it your way.*

Courtesy of memecenter.

(*Unless your way involves hot onion rings. In which case, all bets are off.)

I hate when I order food and don’t get exactly what I want. When my order gets messed up, though, I will complain about it relentlessly to everyone I am with and possibly later that night to people I call for the sole purpose of complaining, but I rarely actually go back and say something to the waitress or server. People get onto me for this, and tell me to ‘just say something; you’re paying to get what you want, not what they serve you; it’s not a big deal to let them know; they don’t care; it won’t upset them, etc.’ Previously, I had no excuses for my cowardly behavior, but previously, I had not heard the story of the cold onion rings. And that story justifies every time I’ve ever not complained about my order. Which makes it a pretty good story.

One day, Robert Deyapp walked into a New Mexico Burger King for what, I assume, he assumed was a normal trip to a fast food chain. He placed his order and excitedly went to eat his lunch. To his horror, he quickly discovered that his onion rings were cold. This was unacceptable! He did what anybody unhappy with their purchase would do (except, of course, for me) and went to the counter to ask for hot onion rings.

At the counter things did get heated, but unfortunately for Deyapp, none of those things were the onion rings. When he complained to manager Francisco Berrera and asked for a refund, instead of a simple “I’m sorry, sir, let us take care of that for you,” Berrera took a different approach. He lunged across the counter and attacked Deyapp with a stungun and switchblade.

As you probably know, BK’s motto used to be “Have it your way.” That has since been changed, most recently to “Be your way,” which is perhaps Berrera’s best defense: he was trying to be a solid example of the Burger King message, and since he seems to be a quick-tempered, violent man, he was “being his way” when he beat up a customer. Surely BK would have to respect that, right?

Despite his solitary pursuit to be a good BK representative, Berrera later pled no contest to aggravated assault, and Deyapp is currently suing the burger franchise. Because it is pending litigation, Burger King has not publicly responded to any questions on this matter; however, I have a couple of theories as to what happened in New Mexico that fated day that would show the burger franchise was not breaking any of its promises.

Courtesy of Giphy.

1. Going back to that same jingle at the top that BK was known for, it is pretty clear that the lyrics say “special orders don’t upset us.” Hot onion rings are a regular order. Burger King never suggests that regular orders don’t upset them. If you place a regular order, then, it is fair to say that by doing so, you are leaving yourself open to an attack.
2. Have you heard about secret menus? They are all the rage. You can order specials that aren’t on the menu by finding out about them online. At McDonalds, you could order a McGangbang: a double cheeseburger and a spicy chicken sandwich, which you would then combine with the chicken in between the two patties, a.k.a., the McGangbang. Perhaps at Burger King a secret menu item just happens to be called the “My onion rings are cold,” and is code for “please attak me with a stun gun and switchblade.” In which case, Deyapp was literally asking for it. That’s the problem with those secret menus, though, you always risk the chance that somebody might order something on accident and then you’ll get sued because they were attacked without consent. Trends today!

Whatever the reason for the attack, I am using it as proof to my loved ones that you should never complain about your food. Unless, of course, Deyapp wins a whole lot. In which case, I will complain so much at so many restaurants that people will be dying to hit me. I can take a punch for a big cash payout.

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Ashley Shaw (@Smoldering_Ashes) is an Alabama native and current New Jersey resident. A graduate of both Kennesaw State University and Thomas Goode Jones School of Law, she spends her free time reading, writing, boxing, horseback riding, playing trivia, flying helicopters, playing sports, and a whole lot else. So maybe she has too much spare time.

Featured image courtesy of [Phillip Wong via Flckr]

Ashley Shaw

Ashley Shaw is an Alabama native and current New Jersey resident. A graduate of both Kennesaw State University and Thomas Goode Jones School of Law, she spends her free time reading, writing, boxing, horseback riding, playing trivia, flying helicopters, playing sports, and a whole lot else. So maybe she has too much spare time. Contact Ashley at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.

The post Spar Broiled: Cold Burger King Onion Rings Lead to Attack and Lawsuit appeared first on Law Street.