Lacy lingerie and conversations about porn. They sound like the start to a good book or late night HBO programming. In fact, though, these are real world issues taking place in court rooms near you.

Pink Panties Prank

Courtesy of GIPHY.

As the saying goes, sometimes when life doesn’t go the way you want it to go, it is time to put on your big girl panties … because if you don’t, and you go to the same hospital as Andrew Walls, you might get stuck wearing someone else’s.

When you go to the hospital to have a colonoscopy, you are probably not in the best mood. And if you are, why? That’s weird. Anyway, let’s assume that everybody goes into this procedure without a smile. Well, wouldn’t you then like it if a hospital worker tried to cheer you up when the procedure was over?

Imagine this: you wake up from anesthesia, nervous about your results and mad that this is how you are using your day off. Add to that that you actually work at this surgery center so you might be a little embarrassed and nervous that co-workers saw you naked or might learn the verdict before you. Wouldn’t you laugh if you realized somebody had placed pink, lace panties on your unconscious body? (Disclosure: I probably actually would laugh at that, but then again, I am pretty weird.)

In the above scenario, did you laugh like me or were you outraged? If you were the latter, then you will feel Andrew Wall’s pain when I tell you that my above hypothetical was his reality. In 2012, Wall really did go to a surgery center where he was at that time employed, had a colonoscopy, and woke up wearing lady lingerie. What would you do in this situation? If you are like Wall, you would sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

I don’t know if he’ll win, but I feel confident saying that if he goes to court and shows off the evidence, he’ll probably look good while trying.

 Privacy and the (Non)Porn Star

Courtesy of Tumblr.

Justice Stewart famously said, “I know it when I see it” about pornographic materials. Well, apparently he should teach classes in recognizing smut because if those lessons were available, radio station owner Entercom Kansas City may not have lost a million dollars.

Afentra and Danny Boi had a morning radio show called “Afentra’s Big Fat Morning Buzz.” One day, the pair decided to host an impromptu ‘name that possible porn star’ contest with an unintentional million dollar prize. Listeners of the show were asked to text in the name of a supposed local porn star. Ashley Patton’s name got submitted twice. What more proof would you need to talk bad about somebody on air than that? Well, the DJs decided they should probably find at least a little more before they dragged her name through the mud. So they did a Google search.

If you Google ‘Ashley Patton, porn star,’ at least pre-this story, you would apparently not come up with anything, but you would get a Google suggestion asking if you meant Ashley Payton. A Payton search will pull up a lot of stuff Justice Stewart would have recognized. And since Payton and Patton are really, really similar, they must be the same people, right?

So now, with proof in hand, the radio hosts took to the air with the story “Ashley Patton is a Porn Star” and stated her former high school —  there was even a play-by-play of the Google Results with no mention of the name change. They then posted her name on their website as part of a list of suspected local porn stars. They did admit the list was “unofficial,” but said it with an implied wink. The show was then made available as a podcast.

As it turns out, Payton and Patton are actually two very different people. And Patton did not appreciate the comparison. She called the radio station to complain; and the Program Director, Scott Geiger, answered the call. She told him what happened, and he, previously unaware of the segment, asked her the very obvious question: “Well, are you?” and when she said no, he followed up with the most logical next question: “How do you know that you’re not a porn star?” (Apparently Geiger had not been a Justice Stewart fan and didn’t realize it’s actually hard to accidentally become a porn star.)

Eventually the list was changed and the podcast was removed, but it was too late. Patton brought a lawsuit for false light invasion of privacy and negligent supervision. Which is how she became the winner of a one million dollar prize that the radio show neither planned on giving nor wanted to award.

You could search online or watch subscription stations after ten if you want to find some risqué material, but why bother? If you want the really dirty materials, just head on down to court.

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Ashley Shaw (@Smoldering_Ashes) is an Alabama native and current New Jersey resident. A graduate of both Kennesaw State University and Thomas Goode Jones School of Law, she spends her free time reading, writing, boxing, horseback riding, playing trivia, flying helicopters, playing sports, and a whole lot else. So maybe she has too much spare time.

Featured image courtesy of [Mike Small via Flickr]

Ashley Shaw

Ashley Shaw is an Alabama native and current New Jersey resident. A graduate of both Kennesaw State University and Thomas Goode Jones School of Law, she spends her free time reading, writing, boxing, horseback riding, playing trivia, flying helicopters, playing sports, and a whole lot else. So maybe she has too much spare time. Contact Ashley at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.

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