Hey y’all!

Two of my favorite things in the whole wide world have collided! The Real Housewives franchise on Bravo TV and the law! Real Housewife of New Jersey Teresa Giudice and her hubby Giuseppe “Joe” Giudice were charged with 41 counts of conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud back in 2013 and yesterday they were both sentenced.

First, “Juicy” Joe.

He received 41 months in a federal prison, has to pay $414,588.90 in restitution, plus a $10,000 fine, and has to complete an alcohol treatment program. It’s great that he has to do the alcohol program, but I think it is a little bit too late for that idea. Back in 2010, good ol’ Joe flipped his truck in a DWI crash but never really got punished for it. After losing his license in that crash, he posed as his brother to get a new driver’s license, and it’s that crime for which he might be deported to Italy — the country of which he is a citizen — after getting out of prison.

Teresa got 15 months in jail; prosecutors argued against house arrest because it would be a little fucked up for her to chill out in the house she basically defrauded others in order to build. The upside is the judge is allowing Teresa and Joe to go at separate times so that their four daughters do not suffer too much. Teresa will serve first and I imagine she probably won’t stay in for the whole 15 months. Think Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, or Nicole Richie jail time. Which makes me wonder if jails are sexist because these women were in jail for short periods of time but DMX and O.J. Simpson were not let out early (but we all know why O.J. is really in jail).

Naturally, Joe and Teresa will sit down and do their first interview after the sentencing with Andy Cohen of Bravo TV. Andy is the glue that holds all of the hot mess shows together on that network and he does a great job!

I am a huge fan of all things Real Housewives. You can get on that hot mess express and ride it around for an hour, hop off and go about your life until that next episode comes on. Originally when I started watching RHONJ I was not too fond of Teresa until she flipped that table.

Courtesy of Giphy.

Joe didn’t seem to be around much at first, but that was okay because there was enough drama to fill more hours than viewers could stand. Slowly but surely over the past few seasons Joe has stepped up his game in showing his face. I HATED Joe a season or two back when he basically made it seem like a phone call he received was from a mistress and then proceeded to call his wife a bitch. Tool bag!

But this season, if you’ve been watching, you get to see a better side of Joe and he has somehow turned into a decent guy. I can tell you one thing, even though I may have never been fond of him or how he treated Teresa he has always seemed to be a good dad!

Teresa and Joe have four little girls; Gia, Milania, Gabriella, and Audriana. Milania stole the show the moment that camera turned to her. She is one opinionated, mouthy kid but you gotta love her!

Courtesy of Tumblr.

What blows my mind about this whole situation is that there were 41 counts and all of this spanned a four-year time period. It is great to know that prosecutors were able to catch them and make them pay for their choices but I wonder how much of that is because they decided to join the Real Housewives of New Jersey. If the spotlight had not been on them would they have perhaps gotten away with it or even gone on to commit more fraud?

Our judicial system works, but does it work better when celebrities are involved?

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Allison Dawson (@AllyD528) Born in Germany, raised in Mississippi and Texas. Graduate of Texas Tech University and Arizona State University. Currently dedicating her life to studying for the LSAT. Twitter junkie. Conservative.

Featured image courtesy of [Jennifer Marie Puglia via Flickr]

Allison Dawson

Allison Dawson was born in Germany and raised in Mississippi and Texas. A graduate of Texas Tech University and Arizona State University, she’s currently dedicating her life to studying for the LSAT. Twitter junkie. Conservative. Get in touch with Allison at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.

The post Real Housewife of NJ Teresa Giudice: Go Directly to Jail, Do Not Collect $200 appeared first on Law Street.

When Lady Gaga was on “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen, he asked her what she thought of the twerking phenomenon that was sweeping the country.  (Sidenote: twerking isn’t a new thing, it’s just…a thing. Whatever). Anyway, Gaga said, “I think that people should stop putting the letter ‘T’ in front of the word ‘werk.’”

I agree, but what about putting a “net” in front of “werk”? Does that change the rules?

Hear me out.

Esquires are many.  JDs are more. Jobs are few. Careers are less. Sometimes you’ve got to get in where you fit in, folks.

We all know that applying for jobs is so much more than sending in your overly-impressive, super-stacked resume.  Sorry, but no one cares that you were number three in your class.  In 2013, you need to get out there and let the world know that you’re looking for a job.

What does that entail?

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, U.S. Postal Service, FedEx, UPS, carrier pigeons, messages in bottles, and much prayer to the God of your choosing.

“I’ve tried all of that, Peter, but I’m still sitting around eating left over Halloween candy in my underwear while watching Modern Family reruns! What else can I do?”

To be honest, I think that anyone eating monster-shaped Reese’s peanut butter cups in sweatpants with an active Netflix account is winning the game of life, but what do I know? For those that require a bit more for professional fulfillment, it’s time to go the Miley* route.

You have to use that body!

Tonight I am going to a networking event. Yes, the thought of it emotionally drains me.  Anyway, my Siamese twin RJ and I are going to get gussied up and smile in the faces of people who make a lot more money than us and are much more influential. We’re going to laugh at their jokes, look them in the eyes, and and take great pains to stick to two glasses of wine for the night.

The real werk starts way before the event, though. We’re putting on our best-fitting suits, crispest white shirts, shiniest dress shoes, and our best-smelling perfumes and colognes. I’ll probably run three or four miles to sweat out any toxins, and definitely plan on putting some Crest white strips on my teeth for 30-40 minutes mid-afternoon.

“Are you saying that how I look will impact my networking experience?” No. I’m saying it’ll affect your netWERKing experience. Do you follow?

People want to talk to people who are pretty. If they talk to you and you’ve got personality, they’ll like you. If they like you, they’ll remember you when job information comes their way. If they remember you, you’ll get a job faster. It’s science.

Ok, ok, let’s say you try all of the above and the event is still stiff. Maybe the small talk isn’t covering topics about which you know a lot of information. You then reach into your (figurative) bag of tricks and pull out the pièce de résistance, the “Netwerk” – patent pending. It’s not even hard.  You just pop a Miley*! Bend the knees, pop the hips, and re-state all of the phenomenal experience you gained during your various past clinics, internships, and jobs.

Not only will you likely be hired on the spot, they will surely put you on the fast track to a corner office. Trust me- I haven’t gotten where I am without a lot of netwerking, and I’m finally ready to share my secret. You’re welcome.

*Is Miley still who the kids are referencing? I’m desperately grasping to my quickly escaping youth.

P.S. For serious job search information, check out Alex’s Capitalista blog or our job list.

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Peter Davidson is a recent graduate of law school who rants about news & politics and raves over the ups & downs of FUNemployment in the current legal economy.

Featured image courtesy of [John Murden via Flickr]

.gifs courtesy of T. Kyle from RealityTVgifs

Peter Davidson II

Peter Davidson is a recent law school graduate who rants about news & politics and raves over the ups & downs of FUNemployment in the current legal economy. Contact Peter at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.

The post When All Else Fails, You NeTwerk appeared first on Law Street.