Whenever you need to make a few extra bucks, it makes sense to have a garage sale. Clean out all that junk you’ve been hoarding forever, and let someone else turn your trash into their treasure. Well sometimes the government needs a little money too, has to clean out its garage, and get rid of some of the junk. Sometimes it does it through the vehicle of an auction. And sometimes the government is hoarding some really weird shit…
For example, the state of Kansas is embarking on an incredibly strange auction. In a raid in July, the state of Kansas seized thousands of items from a man named Larry Minkoff. Minkoff’s business was in the field of adult entertainment, particularly selling the requisite accessories. His assets were seized after he refused to pay the state over $160,000 in taxes. Now they’re being sold at auction to help out the government, which is currently short on revenue by nearly $300 million. You can shop in person or online and some of the offerings include:
…the Pipedream Fantasy Love Swing, books, hundreds of DVDs, sex and drinking games, a wide assortment of sexually oriented equipment, carrying cases for devices, the Glass Pleasure Wand, bundles of lingerie and the Cyberskin Foot Stroker…
Bundles of lingerie? There’s nothing like buying lingerie in bulk, really.
This entire thing is weird, but somehow it’s not the weirdest thing the government has tried to sell to raise money. There was the time that former U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson was found guilty of illegally using $750,000 in campaign funds and the government sold off some of his possessions to pay back what he owed. Those items included a lot of Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson paraphernalia, and a collection of truly heinous looking fur coats.
Courtesy of Robert Kosara via Flickr.
Then there’s all the random property that the government needs to get rid of. For example, the General Services Administration (GSA) recently auctioned off the Manana Island Sound Signal Station, in Maine. It’s creepy and old, and great for that amateur Shutter Island remake that you’ve been looking to start. Here’s the listing, it looks like a great deal!
Or, if you’ve been looking for something with a bit more room to grow, sometimes the government auctions off things like an entire building in Montana. The James F. Batten building in Montana used to be a courthouse, and ended up auctioned off by the government last year. I would have gone for it, but it had a 56-car garage, which would fit 56 more cars than I own. If you missed it, keep an eye out — apparently the Obama Administration is encouraging the GSA to unload unused buildings to make extra money.
What we should all take away from this is that the U.S. government is exactly like that creepy neighbor everyone has, selling their junk for cash by auctioning off sex toys, semi-sketchy buildings, and out-of-style coats. Snap ’em up while you can — everything must go!